Today I polished Goldust’s head.
I am desperate for something to occupy my mind, let’s talk about bootsale shit.
It was a cloudless, hot warm morning with a cool breeze - which meant it was dusty as fuck but otherwise a pleasant environment to walk around in looking at other people’s old junk in – and the perfect environment to feel completely hopeless, worthless and suicidal in. Really: fuck nice weather when you’re miserable, it’s like nature is being a contrary cunt. Still if it wasn’t nice out I couldn’t have bought knock-off Ninja Turtles and polar bears1 so it was a necessary evil.
So anyway, are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.