David Bowie’s dead, the fuck is going on?
I mean it was bad when Lemmy went, yes, but Lemmy’d been living on Jack Daniels
and unfiltered since at least the mid-70s, if not always, in fact many of us
Motorhead fans had come to believe that Lemmy was already dead and just nobody
had had the balls to tell him. It wasn’t a shock is what I’m saying, but David
Bowie’s like Superman or Charlie Brown or someone he can’t die (and yes please be a dick and tell me that Superman did in fact
die, he got better though didn’t he? And I have the entire story-arc in first
print so shut it). That, I suppose, is our problem of our making though, we
build people up and forget that they are in fact people called ‘Dave’ and ‘John’
and ‘Jeff’ and make them ‘David Bowie’ ‘John Lennon’ and ‘Joey Ramone’ and only
remember they’re actual human beings when they die on us. But we can get as philosophical
(or the nearest I get to it anyway) as we all like the fact remains that no one
woke up this morning and thought ‘I bet ol’ Bowie’s pegged it’ (except David
Bowie it seems, he’d been ill for a while and keeping it quiet) and now even
people who wouldn’t dream of owning Scary Monsters are wandering around Tescos
in shock.
And people can dream up as creative or clichéd
an eulogy as they like – and they will, every Tom, Dick and Wiz Khalifa will be sending
out messages of utter tripe as today wears on – but the main point is that a
very talented bloke has died and the world and a music scene dominated by the
creatively bankrupt and talent show winners (and losers) is worse off for it
and he has friends and family and batty ex-wives in the Big Brother House and their
grief is frankly far more important than the fandom’s and far more important
than making yourself look compassionate and hip (Piers Morgan) by spilling out
a bunch of cliché – you know, like what I’m doing right now, of course I’m listening
to Boys Keep Swinging while I do it, own Ziggy Stardust on vinyl and have been
subjecting car journeys to everything from Life on Mars to The Laughing Gnome
since I was about 10 so it’s OK (no I’m not being serious, though all those
facts are true).
David Bowie’s dead, fuck sake!
I imagine it went like this:
St. Peter “we need to bump of another
rock star, God”
God: “why? We just did in Lemmy”
St. Peter: “quota reasons, how about Sting?”
God: “No! he’ll be in my earhole all day about
rainforests and tantric sex, do you really think I want to listen to the sexual
techniques of the bass player from The Police? Anyway I always get him confused
with Malcolm McDowell”
St. Peter: “Paul McCartney then?”
God: “Didn’t the fact that I took Lennon
and Harrison first give you a big enough a hint? Don’t you have anyone who isn’t
obnoxious?”
St. Peter: “well…um…Bono?”
God: “GAH!”
St. Peter: “um, well, David Bowie’s been
ill”
God: “Done!”
St. Peter: “The flock won’t like it sir”
God: “I don’t care, if it keeps Bono away
for another quarter, take the Thin White Duke”
FUCK YOU BONO! I knew it’d be your fault
somehow.
Ah, we laugh so we don’t cry (though when
Paul Weller goes I will sob like a girl with a skinned knee an’ shit)
David Bowie’s dead…fucking madness
Anyway I have to post the rest of my Look
at Jem & the Hologram’s first story-arc, which is fitting if not somewhat
unimportant feeling in light of today’s events, so are you sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll begin (again):
Continuing our Look At the first arc from
IDW’s Jem & the Holograms series, I have nothing clever to say and my mum
always said “if you don’t have anything clever to say, skip the intro
paragraph” so let’s just get ‘em on stage.
Showtime Part 4 (Jem
& the Holograms issue 4)
Quick
Summary: it’s the day of the Starlight
benefit and Kimber is missing out on the band lampshading that their name makes
no sense as they are in fact a hologram and three real people not the other way
‘round, she’s missing this because she’s being told by Stormer that they can’t
see each other anymore or else Stormer will be out of the band. Pizzazz is
annoyed that Stormer is late and Clash is missing, because Clash is meeting
with Blaze to get into the benefit gig as a waitress. Kimber rushes after
Stomer and kisses her in the street while Rio makes a good impression on Shana
and Aja with fancy coffee. While running into the gig Kimber bashes straight
into Clash who drops a load of tools. Stormer gets more shit for being late but
stands up to the group. Rio meets Jem and Jem makes a terrible first
impression. After their performance the first thing the television presenter
asks Pizzazz is if she’s met Jem & The Holograms, Pizzazz screams.
Meanwhile said band’s performance is going well until a whole part for the
lighting rig falls, heading straight for Jem.
I think Pizzazz is having a breakdown, I
mean is that intentional? She’s losing it on television, trusting no-one,
having a random moment of sad silence (which I really liked, Pizzazz needs some
humanising here and there to stop her just being a ball of anger and spotlight
grabbing). Also are we to take it that Clash and Blaze used to date? I can see
some implications here and there but as we have two girls in an out-and-out
lesbian relationship it seems odd that the creative team are being coy – maybe
for plot reasons rather than censorship reasons? Anyway this issue was great as
you can tell by me spending more time talking what happened in it than what
makes it up, no clunky dialogue to take me out of things, a couple of rushed
panels from Campbell including one where Shana looks like a Smurf being
squished but nothing offensive – although Kimber seems to be getting thinner
each issue, has she been so worried about the Stormer thing she hasn’t been
eating? Should I be concerned? Again I’ll just repeat it for clarity, I’m
completely happy with Kimber and Stormer being cannon in this incarnation but I
still hate Stormer’s portrayal, she just feels like a different character (and
her outfit was awful this issue, she looked like either a prostitute or a salsa
dancer in a Mexican-themed restaurant…in 1961) but she is responsible for the
funniest moment of the issue – in fact I’m just gonna post it here:
Jetta is also consistently the sexiest
girl in the book, just saying. Also, also Kimber has a hairstyle reminiscent of
her original design for the gig, it looks great and was a lovely call back,
thanks Sophie!
Showtime Part 5 (Jem
& the Holograms issue 5)
Quick
Summary: Aja saves Jem from the falling lighting rig, she’s not too hurt but
gets taken in an ambulance all the same, putting Jerrica in her first
Jem-related predicament as she has to be seen to be there as Jerrica for her
sister and then has to show Jem leaving, luckily Synergy uses her previously
stated ability to project holograms to make it look like Jem’s getting into a
cab, which only makes the singer seem worse to Rio. Pizzazz is angry because
this has garnered the Holograms more exposure, Clash decides to not take credit
for it. Rio sneaks Aja some coffee in hospital. We then get a montage of
everyone having a nice time as the Holograms record a new song written by
Kimber (about Stormer): we see Rio & Jerrica and Stormer & Kimber be
all cute and couple-y, the Misfits getting on with each other, Pizzazz loves
cats and the Holgorams continue to bond with Rio. At the Misfits Vs Battle of
the Bands festival everyone is hungry and as they can’t set up yet Jerrica lets
them go off and play/eat; Kimber finds Stormer, Aja bumps into a new love interest
after winning a HUGE My Little Pony and Jerrica and Rio have a fight over his
(negative) view of Jem. Then Holograms and Misfits meet, it goes poorly and
then Clash turns up, Kimber recognises her from the benefit, puts two and two
together and ends up with food fight.
I have a nit-pick for this issue –
Jerrica’s watch changes shape and design between issues, that’s annoying,
that’s the sort of lack of attention to detail that takes me out of a comic,
especially as she in fact didn’t change but just wrapped herself in a hologram.
Moving along though I don’t think pacing is Kelly Thompson’s best quality, oh
this issue itself is paced fine, a lot happens but none of it feels rushed or
anything it’s just that after three very decompressed issues we now have 30
things happening, so much happens we need a montage, so as a story Showtime is
a bit uneven.
But like I say this issue is fine and
dandy, this will seem really horrible but I kind of wished someone had gotten
more seriously injured – it would have been interesting if Jerrica has broken
something for instance, and had to deal with masking a broken arm or leg as Jem
but then that would require proper focus on the Jerrica/Jem part of Jem &
The Holograms and that ain’t happening this story, though in Thompson and
Campbell’s defence we do get our strategic first use of the Jem/Synergy powers and the
fact that it just makes Rio dislike Jem more was a nice touch. Food fights are
always fun but the funniest moment from this is Aja telling off the new love
interest (he hasn’t been named yet) for not knowing his ‘basic fantasy
creatures’ funny AND cute, I want to marry Aja.
Showtime Part 6 (Jem
& The Holograms issue 6)
Quick
Summary: The amusingly food coated Holograms and Misfits are brought before the
Five by Five record label suits putting on the Misfits Vs competition, who want
to eject the Holograms for breaking the rules, but Pizzazz says the Misfits
want them to remain in the competition so they can blow them off stage, they
are ignored by their label and the Holograms are disqualified. Stormer is more
worried that Kimber hates her, Kimber for her part does think Stormer was
involved but is a little doubtful and her sisters try to convince her that
there might be some merit to this doubt, but both bands have to focus on more
pressing concerns; the Misfits offer to play a full set and Jerrica decides to
have Jem & The Holograms play across the road from them at the same time,
using Synergy’s abilities to upstage them audibly and visually – it works, they
hijack their sound system and steal their audience, the Misfits (justifiably)
pissed off Misfits declare war on their rivals.
There are parts of this issue I really
like but the ending, ok it’s not a bad ending and it makes sense from the point
of view of the characters (the Holograms do think the Misfits just tried to
kill them) and from the characters’ roles in the franchise (the Misfits are
‘the bad guys’) but I’m not seeing it from their point of view, from the point
of view of a character with only limited knowledge, I, we, the readers, have
access to all the knowledge and know that the Misfits proper did nothing to
deserve being blown off-stage at their own gig by a pop band, Clash acted
without their knowledge and Pizzazz even tried to prevent the Holograms from
being chucked out the competition. I think what we’re supposed to feel is two
things – happy to see the Holograms triumph and that the Misfits are justified
in their continued actions against the Holograms but I’m just not feeling the
former. The Misfits aren’t exactly the best of people and Pizzazz doesn’t
actually tell Clash off for trying to murder another lead singer, just to make
sure it doesn’t come back on the band but the fact remains that for the whole
story they haven’t actually done anything to the Holograms other than be pissed
off by them – mostly in private. It makes the Holograms look very much like the
designated protagonists rather than the actual heroes.
But overall I like this arc and I’m
genuinely enjoying the series, I know I criticize parts of it but that’s kind
of the point of this thing, to tell you what I think after reading each issue be
that good or bad. The book isn’t flawless but it is really enjoyable with all
of the characters being likable and I want to spend more time with them, and
given that there’s 10 reoccurring characters (so far, we’re still short a Raya,
a Video and an Eric Raymond) that really does say something for both Kelly
Thompson and Sophie Campbell (although I wasn’t that worried in the latter’s
case, Campbell already filled an ensemble cast with completely likeable
protagonists and antagonists with Wet Moon). I do want more focus on the more
fantastic side of stuff and stories that utilize these things more in more
creative ways (Synergy’s role in the finale could have been replaced by some
clever wiring) and more of a focus on what it’s like for Jerrica re: being Jem,
maybe a micro series or some issues focussing on just one character could do
this (we’ve gotten some of it in the annual but again I want to see it, not
have it be talked about or be a dream metaphor with Teen Wolf). But whatever
they do I want the series to continue, now that the film’s bombed (and
rightfully so) I’m a little concerned about the comic and the proposed relaunch
of the Jem toyline, hopefully they’ll both carry on regardless, I’m happy to
read this comic until it reaches Sonic the Hedgehog level numbers and I think
it’s good enough to achieve that, and I sure would like one of my favourite
80’s franchises to become Hasbro’s answer to Monster High (though my wallet may
not like that so much)
Anyway read Jem & The Holograms.
David Bowie’s dead…
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