So Bogleech has reviewed every Pokémon from all (currently) 7 Generations of the franchise?
Challenge accepted
First up, Generation 1 – encompassing
Pokémon Blue & Green and Pokémon Blue, their international versions
Pokémon Red & Blue and Pokémon Yellow: Special Pikachu Edition.
This is the era of Pokémania, of kids stabbing each other over trading cards,
of accusations of satanism, of more merchandise than you can shake a Sudowoodo
at, of seizures and racism and hit movies and mothers against groups and Time
Magazine covers. This is the era of the original 151.
And I was there for it all,
well all of it in the UK, we got it a bit later than America. My first Pokémon
game was a shitty second-hand copy of Pokémon Blue, I got it the year it was
released in the UK (1999) and then got my own brand-new Pokémon Red for
Christmas that year, I vividly remember playing Red in the car to my Aunt and
Uncles and my Dad (driving me there) being completely unimpressed with my
excitement over Rattata and Pidgey. Reviewing Generation 1’s ‘mons is going to
be very difficult for me, simply because I’m so used to them, these things have
been in my life for around getting on for 20 years and a lot of ‘em have been
catchable in every Generation. Further Gen 1 and 2 had a very simple,
naturalistic design for their Pokémon, many of them are simply nice cartoon
critters so I do wonder how boring this may get.
So how am I going to do it?
I’m going to steal
Bogleech’s format but expand it a little: each segment will be about the entire
evolutionary line, including Pokémon that were added to it in later Generations
(known as ‘Cross-Generation Evolutions’ to us cool kids) and all forms, which
will include the Mega Evolutions added in Generation 6 and any regional forms
(or Alolan forms) added in Generation 7. For Generation 1 here I’ll also add a
special paragraph about the planned but ultimately cut additions to the
evolutionary lines from the recently discovered ‘Space World Demo’ of Pokémon
Gold & Silver (a very early version of the Generation 2 games from a
Nintendo event called Space World ‘97) because Bogleech reviewed all of these
too. I’ll do the completely unconnected cut Pokémon from that demo… sometime
later, probably after Gen 2.
Each Pokémon will be
individually ranked with the Pokéball System, though I’ll be using Master Balls
because they’re my favourite ball (of course I have a favourite type of
Pokéball) and an overall score for the whole evolutionary line as well. With
zero Poke balls (all grey) for the worst and Special ‘gold’ scores for the
best, Gold 5 (five gold GS Balls) and Gold 6 (six Gold GS Balls) for my
absolute tippy-top favourites.
So are you sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll begin:
Fun fact: Ivysaur was designed
first and based on – I believe – an Ultra Kaiju (probably from Ultraseven)
though it was basically Vensuar:
This was before there was
the concept of evolution in the game (and indeed the concept of elemental
types) dating all the way back to the game’s origin as Capsule Monsters (or
‘Capumon’) in 1991ish, Bulbasaur and Venusaur weren’t added until years later
during a drive to add evolutions to the earliest Pokémon like Grimer and
Voltorb. I bring this up because it answers the commonly answered question of
‘what IS Bulbasaur and its mates?’ – the answer is simple, they’re not frogs,
they’re not dinosaurs, they’re a kaiju and two other kaiju designed
specifically to give it younger forms. This also explains why the line doesn’t
really change that much - most of these
‘quick we need an evolution for X’ Pokémon from this time don’t – the likes of
Muk, Persian, Abra and Alakazam, Pidgeotto and Pidgeot, Marowack, Clefable,
Electrode, Cubone, Weezing, Kingler and
Starmie are all from this period, all of them just ‘bigger, badder’ or
‘smaller, cuter’ versions of the earlier ‘mon being worked from, I don’t think
originality or creativity was really being prioritized here. The exceptions
being Magikarp (though Gyarados was already based on the legend so a goldfish
prevolution wasn’t a herculean feat of creativity).
ANYway: You see those
markings on Bulbasaur and Ivysaur? Those are the exact opposite of the
‘undesigned markings’ I will be moaning about a LOT, those markings look like
they were designed, like effort was put into their shape and their placing,
Purrloin and Cranidos should have markings that feel like that.
ANYway II: Bulbasaur is a
SUPER adorable little critter who becomes a bigger, stronger, tougher middle
stage that feels very much like the mid-point between adorable and powerful and
then it ends up as a huge flower beast. The change between one ‘mon and another
isn’t so big but balanced out by the bud on its back blooming, giving each
stage its own unique element and the whole evolutionary line a nice, easy to
understand and easy to appreciate progression. If pushed I’d say that the
Bulbasaur line was my least favourite of the Gen 1 Starters, but only because a
jowly, fat tree thing is slightly less awesome than a dragon or a turtle-tank,
and because Mega Venusaur has that flower on its head, it looks a little goofy
Venu’ me old mate, sorry.
I’m one of THOSE Pokéfans,
one of THOSE fans who think Charizard is amazing despite the fact that it’s not
a Dragon Type normally, fucked by something as pitiful as Stealth Rock and its
Base Set card isn’t even that expensive anymore. The reason I worship at the
altar of Charizard is entirely down to design, because Charizard is the perfect
western drag , it’s THE western dragon design, it’s everything people think of
when they think of a western dragon – plus a fiery tail – it’s somehow just
exactly right. The Megas I’m a bit more devided on, see I totally agree that
Charizard needed a Mega to allow him to catch up to slightly less popular but
far more useful dragons like Garchomp or Haxorus and that giving it a Dragon
Type was a must and I actually agree that it’s popular enough to be a shoe-in
for two Mega Evolutions. But the difference between the two it got is
just…huge: Mega Charizard X is amazing, an over the top black dragon that adds
the Dragon Type and really shows off the ‘ridiculously mental cool’ idea of
Mega Evolutions, Mega Charizard Y is…just a Charizard with extra bits on it
that it didn’t need, sure it gets a stat boost and it’s fine in competitive
play but the sheer difference…
Elsewhere Charmander is
just right, adorable to the point that really you’d be an utter horrible
bastard if you didn’t go ‘awww’ when you saw it, and you’re not an utter
horrible bastard now are you? As for Charmeleon, just like Ivysaur it works
perfectly as a mid-point when it comes to design, I do wonder why all the
midvolutions in the Gen 1 starters are randomly darker colours but it just
makes them look that much more different from their previous forms (because
they’re not THAT much different are they, really?) so I’m not complaining.
Squeeeee!
Yes I did type that. The
Squirtle family is my favourite Starter line and one of my favourite Pokémon evolutionary
lines period, all three members of it would be on my top 50 Pokémon, I just
love it to death. Squirtle is an adorable turtle with a squirrel tail,
Blastoise is a huge tank tortoise with TWO cannons that Mega Evolves into the
animal equivalent of the BFG but it’s actually Wartortle that I rate the
highest. Why? Probably because it looks like a cute turtle version of The
Mighty Thor, I mean I’m not that deep a person really so it could simply be
that but if you want more words: it retains everything that makes Squirtle cute
and great, but badasses it up a little bit – while both Ivysaur and Charmeleon
do the latter they don’t do the former, I mean they’re not un-cute but they’re
not AS cute as Bulbasaur and Charmander, Wartortle IS as cute as Squirtle if
you ask me. Wartortle would be my first choice for ‘Pokémon I’d have in real
life’ too, not only is it cute and cool and small enough to not be a hazard in
the home but it’s elemental abilities are actually useful, instead of worrying
that the ‘mon will set fire to the grass or poison next door’s cat or steal my
soul (or the kids who live down the road), me and Wartortle can clean the patio
together.
Fun Fact: there’s enough
evidence to suggest that Blastoise wasn’t originally supposed to be the evolution
or Wartortle and that’s why it completely abandons everything from the previous
two designs except ‘has shell’. It’s a very complicated bit of detective work
from the geniuses at Helixchamber.com including cries, when the three ‘mons
were created and who was created around them and the internal list of Pokémon
in Red and Green and summarizing it here would be difficult and time consuming
so I’m just gonna link you to them and you can read it for
yourself.
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