Fuck intros; let’s just do this last issue so I can read something shallow and linear.
Thursday 24 September 2015
Tuesday 22 September 2015
A Look At...The Multiversity Part 4
Nazis
and Meta, and Jim Lee, who isn’t a Meta Nazi – ok I’m not certain he isn’t but it’s
VERY unlikely he is.
Monday 21 September 2015
A Look At...The Multiversity Part 3
Urg,
Pax Americana is in this part, but so is Thunderworld – so yay!
In Which We Burn (The Multiversity: Pax Americana)
I’m
going to have write something about every scene just to make this recap worth
reading: Quick Summary: Earth-4: Peacemaker
shoots president Harely. Nightshade argues with her father, now the president. They
have two different conversations but he is adamant, the American Superhero is
dead and Peacemaker killed it. Blue Beetle and Nightshade fail to apprehend The
Question, who’s investigating the murder of Nora O’Rourke and Algorithm 8. The
Question investigates the crime scene of O’Rourke’s murder, she was
Peacemaker’s lover (?*) and she cracked Algorithm 8 – a pattern, a formula that
can predict the future – O’Rouke was killed with a bust, used like a club, by
someone wearing the weapons of an old Pax Americana villain. Captain Atom is
teleported out of the universe by a Hadron Collider-come-Transmatter Cube while
reading Ultra Comics #1, the scientists have put a black hole in his head, Sgt.
Steele shoots them to death. Nigthshade argues with her mum. How long ago did
Peacemaker plan to kill the president? The Question kills a criminal and talks
about Spiral Theory. Pax Americana (The Question, Tiger, Peacemaker, Captain
Atom, Blue Beetle and Nightshade) are unveiled by President Harley, Captain
Atom builds a new three towered structure where the World Trade Centre once was
– out of nothing, in an instant. Presidential candidate Harley meets Captain
Atom and explains his plan and Algorithm, using it he has decided to be killed
and resurrected to show the people a miracle. Peacemaker saves Dubya.
Peacemaker says Harley chose to become the sacrifice in his plan because he
deserved it. The Question kills a smack dealer with his own smack, Blue Beetle
is horrified. At his father’s graveside Harley has his epiphany. Harley finds
his father’s gun in his studio when Yellowjacket comes in, Harley shoots him
dead, he takes of his mask – “Dad?”
I’ve
heard the argument that people only use ‘pretentious’ when something’s too
smart for them and they don’t understand it, though apparently it actually means “attempting
to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed”
that is pretending to be more than it is, Pax American is trying to be more
than necessary so it’s not really pretentious it does piss me off though, and
part of that is because it’s too smart for me but mostly because it’s
overstuffed and like all overstuffed things, it tastes funny. We have a comic
retelling Watchmen with the Charlton Comics characters (who were originally
supposed to be the characters featuring in that series) and commenting on it,
everything referencing the number 8, and the whole thing is based around Spiral
Dynamics, a not-that-well-known theory that is generally considered
pseudoscience bollocks and that’s mostly only shown by the colouring, and the
whole story is told backwards. That’s a lot of stuff to stuff into a single
1-shot, too much stuff and half of its unnecessary and here just to show how
clever Grant Morrison is, the book’s doing so much it forgot to tie into the
event its part of. If you want a really good in-depth look at it, how it breaks
down and fits into Spiral Dynamics and what it all means then the Comics Alliance did a fantastic piece on it here.
Some
people will tell you this is the best book in the series and will undoubtedly
be called pretentious bastards by the others who will tell you that this is the
worst book the series and will be branded shallow by the first group. It’s
undoubtedly the best drawn book the series, Frank Quietly is pretty damn
brilliant anyway (that potato face issue aside) but shows up as even more
talented here when he’s forcing his art into the rigid 8-panels-per-page format
(Watchmen used 9 panels per page) without his art looking compromised. On the rest of it – well here’s the thing: I
don’t care about Spiral Dynamics, I don’t care about theories in general, and I
don’t care about what comments the bloke who wrote Planet X has on one of the
most perfect comics of all time, so the extra symbolic elements do nothing to
enhance my experience but that is entirely personal and if those sorts of
things are your sort of things then the book’s fine in that regard. It is the
major problem with the book though – what if you don’t care and just want a
good story with the Charlton Comics characters? What’s left then? Not a lot.
It’s an ok little story but not a very original one – not just because it’s a
variant of the events of Watchmen – it’s a simple murder mystery with a simple
twist (the victim set up his own murder) with a small cast of characters (we
barely meet Tiger) and some needlessly hard to read page layouts, compared to
all what’s going on in some of the other books this feels like all symbolism no
substance.
Bang. |
Captain Marvel and the Day That Never Was (The Multiversity: Thunderworld Adventures)
Yaaay!
Quick Summary: The Wizard Shazam finds a
new day in the Cosmic Calendar – Sivanaday – just as a new, artificial Rock of
Eternity arrives. Sivana has worked out the messages in the comics and joined
up with a whole Multiverse of Sivanas and inserted a new day and is going to
conqueror the Multiverse, not only that but he’s worked out a formula that
allows him to duplicate the effects of Captain Marvel’s lightning – turning
Magnificus, Georgia and Thaddeus Jr. into Captain Sivana, Georgia Sivana and
Captain Sivana Junior! On Earth-5 in Fawcett City time is out of control and
Billy Batson is reporting on it, when a Billy Batson from tomorrow turns up and
warns his past self to look at the clock and the sun. As Future!Billy fades the
Sivanna Family arrive and – Shazam! – Captain Marvel takes on all three of them
until Mary Marvel and Captain Marvel Junior can arrive. Then it’s time to wrap
up the right – but with Sivanna Junior punched
to the moon and Georgia tricked into depowering Captain Sivana is still
smiling; they were only keeping the Marvels busy until their dad could release
the Monsters. The Monster Society of Evil* have arrived – BUT so have the Lieutenant
Marvels lead by Tawky Tawny and no monster can stand up to a badass tigerman
with a jetback, an education and a big ass gun. Free to save their wizard Cap
flies to the Rock of Eternity via the subway tunnel he came through when he
first got his powers, after some psychedelic pop-art bullshit he’s read to
tackle Sivana, but the Legion of Sivanas are ready for him (even if Serial
Killer Sivanna creeps them out a bit): Marvel arrives and Sivana becomes Black
Sivana and as Marvel’s argument that science and magic are the same thing
doesn’t sway Sivanan’s ‘SCIENCE R BETTER’ rant they resort t punching. When
that fails Captain Marvel turns back into Billy to buy himself some time, sends
the message we saw earlier to past!Billy and figures out what he meant – the
other Sivanas tricked his one, they scrimped on the necessary Suspendium and
only gave him an 8-hour day, which is now over, and Sivana fails once again.
That
was awesome! I’m having trouble writing a sensible ‘review’ of it and that’s
kind of fitting as the whole point of this story seems to be don’t overanalyse
and spoil the wonder of the superhero, that was the point of Pax Americana too
but all the symbolism and horseshit and Spiral Theory kind of undermined the
point by requiring analysis just to understand the book. You can analyse
Thunderworld Adventures if you like but it WILL spoil the fun, because the book
IS fun, a great adventure from one of the genre’s greatest – and purest –
heroes fighting his arch nemesis with one of his typically bizarre and creative
yet ultimately doomed schemes and crowd-pleasing appearances from all the major
names in his supporting cast and rogue’s gallery. Captain Marvel shouldn’t be
anything but fun and awesomeness, he doesn’t need to be anything else and this
book is a lovely bit of proof, proof that DC itself needs to take notice of
after how they’ve been treating the Fawcett heroes and ESPECIALLY the Marvel
Family since Infinite Crisis.
Cameron
Stewart’s art is especially gorgeous and actually proves a point about
superheroines and their costumes – people complain about women and their
depiction in superhero comics and rightly so; the problem that usually comes up
is that women are overly sexualized in comics – they are – when people missing
the point say ‘but the men wear tight costumes too’ the reply is that they are
not sexualized in how they’re drawn, women often are – this is also true. Unfortunately
the way the Big Two seem to be dealing with the issue is by giving female
characters new costumes to cover them up, these costumes are invariably
inferior and often ugly, awkward and over-designed – how much skin they show is
irrelevant, they’re just shitty costume designs - and it’s all for naught if
they don’t stop the artists drawing them in a sexualized manner, they just draw
them that way with more clothes on. Now look at how Stewart draws Mary Marvel
and Georgia Sivana (transformed) – Mary doesn’t really wear much (though
Georgia wears less) but Steward doesn’t draw her in a sexualized manner, he
does do this for Georgia because that’s part of her point, she’s over-sexualized
because that’s what the ugly girl inside sees as an ideal (and she is very
attractive, Stewart gives her a lovely facial design that just finishes her off
and makes her gorgeous). The main
problem with female superheroes (as I, your lord and master see it) is people
drawing the Mary Marvels like they’re Georgia Sivanas (or worse) not their
costumes, as Stewart proves perfectly here with Mary Marvel.
So
in conclusion there is no bad here, read Thunderworld Adventures.
Maps and Legends (The Muliversity Guidebook)
While
the guidebook is a sourcebook it also has a story running through it, and it’s
the first time we’ve gotten back to the main plot since Multiversity 1. Quick-ish Summary: On Earth-42 Serial-Killer
Sivanna roasts some of the Little League, much to the shock of Lil’ Sivana,
done he takes his mini-me through the Transmatter Cube to their false Rock of
Eternity leaving Lil’ Batman, Green Arrow and Hawkman to make a final stand.
Lil’ Batman allows Arrow and Hawk’ to escape* but is happily saved by the
surprise arrival of Atomic Batman from Earth-17. A-Bats is as surprised as
anyone else. On the False Rock the Legion of Sivana’s turn on Lil’ Sivana and
eat him, but the Marvels arrive so they bug out, Serial Killer Sivana staying
behind for Mary Marvel. Batman picks up one of the comic books the Sivanas left
behind – this comic to be precise, and reads, as do we:
On Earth-51 Ben Boxer,
Kamandi and Chief Tuftan arrive on the Island of the God Watchers looking for
Kamandi’s lover Flower. Watched by the New Gods* they come across the empty
Tomb of Darksied* and once inside – thanks to Boxer’s BIOMAC form – they find
the history fo the DC Multiverse up to this point.
Back on Earth-42 Lil’ Batman
and Atomic Batman team up to get the Transmatter Cube working and Lil’ Batman
uses the guidebook to pick an Earth. We meanwhile get files on all 52 earths
(Earths 0-51). On Earth-51 Kamandi & Co escape the temple as a the skies
turn red and a Crises I supon them, Nix Uotan releases Darksied to plague
humanity and the New Genesis New Gods decide to not interfere directly until
their power is fully returned (after their death and rebirth in Final Crisis)
as the Empty Hand is behind everything.
On Earth-42 Lil’ Batman gets the Transmatter Cube working but finds out
they’re all robots there, and is sent to earth-17 by Atomic-Batman who in turn
ends up in the House of Heroes, which is under attack from Hellmachine, and the
Empty Hand activates his sleeper agents – the Lil’ Leaguers of Earth-42.
This
is how you do a sourcebook right – you make it as interesting to read as the
rest of the issues it’s a guide to, hell you make it essential reading to the
story, BUT you keep all the information plain and easy to find, read and
reference.
The
story is ok but it shares a few issues with Multiversity issue one – we have
smaller cases of things not being shown, jumping from one part of a scene to
another, needlessly confusing dialogue (Atomic Batman’s clearly talking in the
slang of his world but it does get a little over-the-top), some panel’s layouts
not giving us a clear idea of where everyone is in relation to everyone else
and/or not focussing on something that needs to be focussed on to aid our
understanding… and no fucking sound effects making some actions hard to
decipher when they really shouldn’t be (and the lack of feet stamping sounds
really kills the atmosphere of the Sivanadroids approaching the Batmen) but
it’s not as noticeable as Multiversity 1 nor do these problems appear in such
vital panels/scenes (most of the time).
I
really like the Atomic Batman design with its ‘70s style manga influences – I
can’t seem to find who designed the suit but it’s just fantastic to look at, it
looks like an old Japanese toy and is very well balanced in both colour and
design AND it’s not over-detailed. I
don’t get the Lil’ Earth and its characters, I think it’s supposed to recall
stuff like Tiny Titans or Lil’ Gotham (which were both awesome) or just the
Chibi style of art but it’s a pretty unoriginal idea that’s been used better*
(The cute things are really evil/they’re all really robots) even if it is
always creepy, and the Lil’ Leaguers as agents of the Empty Hand will have no
effect on anything anyway.
They actually made Jack-in-the-Box look MORE Creepy? Wow. |
On
the new earths – I like the concept of there being Earths that are equivalents
of comics that have Superman equivalents in them (Big Bang Comics, Astro City,
Rob Liefeld’s Extreme Studios/Maximum Press/Awesome Comics) though a lot of the
designs aren’t that great, they seem a bit rushed and uncreative, and the Astro
City characters are downright creepy (I like that, but it doesn’t really work
as a stand in for the classic superhero style Astro City uses). I’m also
completely on-board with them having an Image-equivalent Earth, after all
they’ve had a Marvel-style earth since the 1970s though again some of the
designs don’t do much for me, though this time it’s more that they’re not as
good as Dino-Cop, it’s like all the effort went into that and there was none
left to give us good analogues of Shadowhawk, Witchblade, Invincible et all –
and they really missed a trick not making the Martian Manhunter analogue also
the Pitt analogue which in turn would have referenced Pitt being so clearly
inspired by The Incredible Hulk. Who else was there? The Gender-swapped Earth
(Earth-11) is a concept that’s been around for ages and is fine, the Nu52
Wonder Woman costume really works as a bloke’s outfit; I’ll save my thoughts on
Superdemon and Earth-13 until it shows up in Multiversity 2; I think Earth-31’s
new but it looks awfully familiar in a way too, that’s either a sign of good
design work or I’m thinking of those Pirate Batman action figures Kenner
made; Earth-39 is just plain silly as
the T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents are in the public domain and they could have just
used the real things, but then given DC’s history of paying for things that are
now in the public domain (and probably was then too) maybe it’s fitting; I like
how Morrison’s brought together so many elements to make the new Earth-48 but
Lord Quark talked utter bollocks in the main story and then had the cheek to go
‘can I be more clear?’ yes you could Grant, often.
Next
Part: Hitler on a toilet – what else do you need to know?
* She could be his wife,
I’m not sure
* Mr Mind, Sobek, Mr Atom,
Oom the Mighty and Storm King from Hoppy the Marvel Bunny!
* think that’s what happens
– it’s not really shown - again.
* Multiversity sets up the
satisfying concept that the various New Gods showing up in the New 52 are all
emanations of the ‘true’ New Goods (the original Jack Kirby ones) who reside in
the Godsphere
* Darkseid’s tomb is based
on an unreleased playset from Kenner’s The Superpowers Collection action figure
line.
* going back to the
Extremists Vector again, the ‘really robots’ reveal was used there and it was
far creepier and far better handled, and there was an additional plot twist.
Sunday 20 September 2015
A Look At...The Multiversity Part 2
Welcome
back. I hope you don’t expect to find out how Superman’s multi-universal
Justice League and the Retaliators fare against the corrupted Superjudge Nix
Uotan because the main story won’t be the main story again until the Guidebook
and even then that particular cliffhanger won’t be resolved until Multiversity
#2, the final issue we’ll be looking at, so tough shit – you have to wait like we
all did. The concept in-story (I think) is that because of the Gentry (and their boss)
every Earth is experiencing a Crisis and six of the seven 1-shots (except Ultra
Comics) shows us part of one of these crises, some of which have knock-on
effects for the group trying to stop The Gentry. The Crisis for Earth-0 isn't gone into but I guess whatever the next big event after Convergence is will be
the Crisis going on during The Multiversity.
Saturday 19 September 2015
A Look At...The Multiversity Part 1
Oh
god why did I decide to write this?
When
you say ‘I’ll have to have a look at that’, that’s what this style or article
is: a Look At article (or series of articles) isn’t a review per say it’s far
more informal, I read and watch a lot of things per week – I suffer from Depression,
suicidal thoughts, paranoia (not always all at the same time) and have a very
low threshold for boredom, (I’m full diagnosed, even with the boredom thing,
well technically the doctor didn’t diagnose that, his really pissed of secretary
did, but she’s almost a doctor right?)
so I like to be doing something in an
attempt to keep my mind from focussing on all the horrible depressedness
swilling around in it, I came up with this idea to give some added bonus purpose
to all that watching and reading, you could argue that it’s already serving a
purpose (to entertain me and to keep my mind off my mind wanting me to die) and
you’re right, but it’s always nice to have an added bonus purpose. I wanted my first Look At to be something
meaningful, one of my favourite stories or series, maybe something TMNT or Sonic
the Hedgehog related, it ended up being The Multiversity – there is no
significance to this ‘Mega Series’ being the first event, in fact I have no
idea why I wrote it, in fact all the way through I was thinking ‘why am I writing
this?’ but write it I did. I’m actually a little disappointed because I’m
writing this intro after I’ve written the whole series of posts (I often write
the intros last, shhh) and I know this isn’t going to be a very positive Look
At and that’s not the impression I wanted to give, I’m not a critic, I don’t
want to be one, I’m not trying to be Linkara or…that other bloke on Channel
Awesome who does comics, I’m not going to be choosing what gets a Look At
because it needs slagging off,I’m not even choosing things to Look At that can
get me a good post, in fact I think as I’ve just proven I’m not choosing what
gets a Look At for any good reason at all half the time, I’m just talking about
something I’ve read or watched. ANYway…
Tuesday 15 September 2015
Dino Dracula's Creepy Q&A
So I've had a couple of
weeks off – I’m sure the internet has missed me greatly as have you, all my
invisible friends – but it’s time to post more unimportant crap.
Thursday 3 September 2015
Quick Crappy Review Extra: Fuck Monster High Packaging
Just a short one, something
that came to mind for my Quick Crappy Review of Circ du Freak Clawdeen but that
I had no appropriate place for in that post, here is the box after I finished
cutting her out of it:
Wednesday 2 September 2015
Quick Crappy Review: Evilseed & Mara of Primus
I have the power?
It takes at least 3 weeks
for things to get from America to the UK, it takes even longer if you’re
Digital River and send it via the whole of Europe and some of the former USSR
as well so I questioned the point of doing anything review-wise for Masters of
the Universe Classics, in fact I question the point of doing any kind of
reviews period – dedicated review sites exist and they are written by people
far better than me who can be arsed to take far more photos than me and in this
case they get the items long before me – hell Pixeldan and The Fwoosh (at
least) get them early but I've got an hour to kill and I’m bored so I’m writing
a Quick Crappy Review of what’s nearest, and that’s these two.
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