Monday, 25 June 2018

Examples of Crap I Waste My Money On: Bootsale Report 21!

Would you like some advice, my non-existent readers? If you go out - let’s just say you went to a Foo Fighters gig at London Stadium - on a Saturday night you cannot, no matter how hard you think you are, no matter how good you still feel when you get in, go bootsailing (or yardsailing or whatever) at half six on the Sunday morning. And if you do ignore this and decide you can do it – don’t get in until gone 1am because it took over an hour to get out of West Ham football ground and decide ‘fuck it, I’ll just stay up’. Not that I’d ever do something as stupid as this, this is a purely hypothetical argument (oh and they covered Under My Wheels AND Under Pressure. performed ‘Jump’ by Van Halen to the tune of Imagine then went straight into Monkey Wrench - it was epic).

So now I’m going to try and talk about something when I have almost no memory of that thing, some of the things I say may – MAY – have been made up. Background is being provided by a neat hardback book celebrating 200 years of Frankenstein, it cost me a pound.
So are you sitting comfortably? Because I’ve had 20 hours sleep…

Thursday, 14 June 2018

World of Dinosaurs at Paradise Wildlife Park: A Speedy Review

So here’s a thing
I love dinosaur parks.
Bear with me. Once upon a time there was Broxbourne Zoo, and Broxbourne Zoo was shit, in fact it was at one time voted the worst zoo in Britain. It was a small, dirty, disorganised place with animals stuffed into tiny cages and a bunch of pathetic amenities, but that time was a long time ago: today Broxbourne Zoo is Paradise Wildlife Park and while it’s still on the small side it’s the exact opposite of what it once was, without losing that cheap and cheerful charm, it also features a network of connected, raised wooden walkways allowing you to look down into the big cats and penguin enclosures which is both unusual and bloody good.
It also has a dinosaur park!