I think I would have had a
marginally better first reaction to Gen II’s ‘mons (because I wasn’t really
following reveals for this Gen) if the first two sets of Pokémon I came across
in the wild didn’t have such terrible names - Zigzagoon? Poochyena? Poochy?
That seemed like a new low even for a franchise that had Pokémon called
‘Ditto’, ‘Haunter’ and ‘Charmeleon’ < that is just Chameleon with an extra
letter in it! Roggenrolla may well have topped Poochyena in the shit Pokémon
name Top Trumps though.
Actually, this is a good
time to bring this up, though I am bringing up names every so often (like with
POOCHYena, seriously?) I’m not, scores wise, holding it against the Pokémon if
their designs and English names don’t match, say like with Psyduck not being
psychic or a duck, because while there may be some better synergy now (I don’t
know for certain) the English names are tacked onto the ‘mons (for the most
part) after they’re designed, sometimes years later, they’re not part of the
design process so I’m not using it as a stick to beat them with.
Mind you I’d’ve probably
still HATED Poochyena, solely because it was completely in that Gen 3 style,
especially it’s face markings, but now I’m used to that style and completely
over the change (I don’t like change very much) I’m completely indifferent to
it as a design, its cute and feisty and as a com mon it needed to be just that,
so it’s fine. I also do appreciate that it was the first com mon that wasn’t
Normal or Normal/Flying (it’s Dark Type), a nice break in tradition, a nice
break in monotony early on and a bit like getting a water pistol instead of a
cap gun. Mightyena on the other hand is way cool, its name isn’t much better
but it’s a big mean hyenadogthing with kickass black makings that look like
either Alice Cooper’s make-up or scars - and the way all of its black markings
on it’s back and head join up has just such a nice woosh to it, I would
probably have made its tail light grey but really if I’m getting that nitpicky
there’s nothing to complain about. And anyway you can always rename ‘em (even
if there is only really three choices for that - Banzai, Shenzi or Ed, even ‘Ed’
is still better than Poochyena, the terms ‘pooch’ and ‘poochie’ are not
threatening, they’re annoying, they’re what rich fat ladies call their dogs or
that horrible character from The Simpsons)
Hey! It’s our arrows!
Continuing on the ‘daft and
obvious even for Pokémon’ naming scheme we have the SECOND set of Com Mons for
Gen II, one would have sufficed lads. Zizagoon and Linoon live their gimmicks
though and I respect that, just about everything on Ziggy is zizzagged
including how it walks, while Linoon is so streamlined I wonder if you could
hold it without it slipping out of your hands like these weird balloon toy
things and it’s head marking is an arrow pointing straight ahead, ever noticed
that? Probably because I’ve been using it as an arrow for two generations and
one demo’s worth of Pokémon reviews, but you still might not’ve because an
arrow perfectly fits with the shape of its head and body so it’s a nice, subtle
marking and not some shapes stuck onto a cartoon animal. Think I’m harping on
this markings thing too much now? Just you wait.
Also these are apparently
good in the competitive scene too, which is good to know, I like the idea of teams
of big bad kaiju getting sweeped by adorable com mons with arrows on ‘em.
I’ve said this before but
just to repeat myself: few to no Pokémon designs are in fact the result of
minimal to no effort, but some sure look like they were don’t they? Cascoon
(the purply one) and Silicoon (the bluey one) are the first ‘Pallet Swap
Pokémon’ where they’re very similar (in this case they have different eyes and
their lines are inverted, so the difference between Voltorb and Electrode,
which is either an argument for how different they actually are or further
proof of how crap Electrode is) and when their strands of silk aren’t shown
(which is all the time in-game and most of the time in the anime) they’re just
balls with eyes so these two really look like they weren’t from the fuck giving
side of the design team, even if they were noticeably different colours that’d be
some help. I suppose you can argue that they’re both cocoons from the same
Pokémon (for Wurmple evolves into either, completely at random) so they should look alike and that’s a fair
point, in fact I’ll shut up, but they’re still pretty simple and boring
considering the last three cocoons we’d had and these don’t even turn into
Godzilla .
What they do turn into are
two bugs I’m rather fond of, Beautifly (which is a great name for a butterfly)
feels like what Butterfree should have been, veering into the weird side of
cute that bugs typically occupy rather than the more traditionally adorable
cute that Butterfree captured while the predominantly black and white scheme
allows the bright colours of a butterflies wings (that thing they’re kind of
known for) to really be the focus of the design. Mothra Dustox meanwhile is rocking that Play-Doh style harder than
anything we’ve seen so far and I do indeed think that Venomoth is the superior
moth here, it’s just more menacing and thus more satisfying to get out of a
cute bug for me. HOWEVER Dustox has the most poisony of colour schemes a Poison
Type could have and is still a cute (and very mischievous looking) big cartoon
bug that looks a bit like a blimp (intentional?), even if it had been done
better about 7 years before it’s still a fun thing. His eyes do look like
gratings though, maybe the real Mothrim is just a Pikachu in a suit?
Oh yeah! Wurmple! Wurmple’s
cool, it feels like they took Caterpie and Weedle and smooshed ‘em together,
keeping the best of both designs (the cuteness of Caterpiee, the goofy and
spikedness of Weedle) and then coloured it like Iron Man. A top idea and very
fitting considering Wurmple was in fact filling in for both of them in this
Generation’s ‘dex.
Right…so what we have are
three Kappa, a type of Japanese turtle goblin, but their water catching heads
are lillypads and their designs also incorporate ducks, Mexicans and dancing
because the lilypads look like Mexican hats and because Ludicolo is batshit.
That’s…that’s a lot, no wonder the outcome is…well…Ludicolo.
Lotad’s a little simple for
me, and stylistically more like something from Doug than Pokémon, but I can see
the logic in that if a Kappa had adorable babies and more so if a Kappa that
looked like Lombre had adorable babies, those adorable babies would probably
look something like Lotad. On Lombre: do you know I‘ve just worked out that it’s
markings are supposed to resemble a mariachi outfit? With the tight trousers, shirt, waistcoat and
hat, its red ‘nose’ is even a moustache. That’s pretty subtle, before I just
hated it because all of its markings were angular nightmares worthy of Rob
Liefeld, but now I’ve worked that out I STILL think all its markings look like
angular nightmares but they actually have intellect, point and slight racial
stereotyping behind them.
What do you want me to say
about Ludicolo? It’s a mad, dancing duck-kappa-bean-thing that looks like it’s
always off its tits with fur that looks like a poncho by way of a pineapple and
a head that looks like a fucking oasis by the way of a nacho sombrero, it looks
like what Scrooge McDuck would see if he drank cactus juice. OF COURSE I LOVE
IT. It’s also the colours of a Lilt can, and I do like me some Lilt, it’s the
totally tropical taste. Ludicolo also
proves that Game Freak learned from the Jynx scandal, they didn’t learn not to stereotype
a whole race of people, just to hide it better under layers and layers of utter
madness.
Excuse me a minute
*ehem*
Squeeee!
Yes this is another of my favourite
evolutionary lines. Seedot is just too cute, it looks like it could and should
be in a Mario game and that’s no bad thing as in case you hadn’t noticed, most
of the Koopa Troop are exceptionally well-designed little monsters, there’s a
reason that Goombas, Koopa Troopers and Spinies are so iconic and merchandise
so well. All those lovely circles (we’re back to Seedot now, catch up) it all
just flows so nice. It then evolves into two of the most Japanese looking
things I’ve ever seen, first the woodland sprite by way of Pinocchio…it has
nipples. Nuzleaf has nipples, I’ve never noticed this before and honestly my
life has not improved for the noticing. Nipples or not Nuzleaf doesn’t work
quite as well as Seedot but Seedot is such a design success if you ask me that
that’s not saying much, and I appreciate the Studio Ghibi/Three Wonders feel of
it.
Sorry, Three Wonders is an pretty obscure Capcom game, hold on I’ll grab a screenshot:
Shiftry (shifty and tree,
just got that) is magnificent, the second coolest Tengu in video games (Mr
Karate is the coolest, deal with it) and a wonderful mix of element and design,
with the Tengu’s leaf fans (hauchiwa) become the grass equivalent to Scyther’s
scythe hands and Kabuto’s blade hands and THIS IS HOW YOU ABSTRACT CLOTHES ON A
POKEMON GAME FREAK, see Shiftry’s feet are actually based on clogs (tengu-geta)
but you’d never know because everything just looks like one flowing wooden leg
and foot, unlike, say, the totally not karate Gi bodies of Sawk and Throh. Of course
I suppose you could argue that Lombre is an even better example but Shiftry’s
feet look, y’know, aesthetically pleasing.
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