Shroomish was one of the
Gen II Pokémon that really turned me off the Generation, it felt so different
that I rejected it. I don’t think I’ve warmed to it so much as I’ve gotten used
to it, and later generations style of Pokémon have made it and the other
‘offenders’ of this generation. Also a friend of mine always names her
Shroomish ‘Tinkleplop’, I think I would have liked Shroomish a lot more out of
the gate if it was called Tinkleplop.
Then there’s Breeloom. Do
you remember those cupcake dolls? They were big for a while and had a small
comeback recently? They’re cupcakes that spring up into dolls? They’re called
Cupcake Surprise apparently:
This is what Breeloom
reminds me of, this is what Breeloom has always reminded me of. It might be the
mushroom hat but it certainly does feel like Shroomish unfolded into a fighting
type. It’s a weird little creature too, one that no one seems to be able to
have found a concrete basis for, or rather no one seems to have found a
concrete basis for why it’s a little dragon-kangaroo-dinosaur-thing. But you
know what? I like it, I don’t LOVE it, but I like it. I think what I dislike is
the colours; they’re just too washed out and make me think of stuffy old rooms,
its shiny form is much better if you ask me:
Though it does make it look
like the midvolution Torchic should have had, another reason to shit on
Combusken – lovely, I might give it an extra half a ball for that.
This is it.
This is the line that
turned me off this generation, this is the line that confirmed my ‘I fear
change’ mentality was in fact right and Generation 3 was just a shit generation
of Pokémon, this became the exemplary line for Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald and how
they weren’t as good as Generations 1, 2 and 5. For years this was the line I
thought of first when I thought ‘Generation III Pokémon’, more than the
Starters, more than the Legendaries, more than Pokémon I actually liked like
Claydol, Aggron or Seedot, I’d think of these three gonky looking things and
think ‘fuck Gen 3, Gen 3 was shit’. Today gives me a chance to really look at
them…
I can’t think WHAT I was
thinking when it comes to Slaking. Its face is a little out there compared to
Gen 1 and 2’s design aesthetics but it, at worst, just a big Pokémon ape and
that would be, by itself, inoffensive, 3 balls, no reason to hate it at all.
But it’s not just that is it? If it’s English name didn’t’ tip you off - this
is Pokémon King Kong and that’s just brilliant. King Kong is one of my
favourite things ever but we it’s brilliant because we had Pokémon Godzilla
last generation didn’t with? With Tyranitar, so bringing in Godzilla’s old
sparring partner next is just fantastic and as a Pokémon King Kong, Slaking is
pretty damn good, having that right mix of imposing and lovable and that
‘respectable’ feel to it. Also, by now we can totally create our own Kaiju
team:
Godzilla! King Kong!
Gamera! Mothra! Rodan! King Ghidorah! Yeah!
Slaking also has a fun
gimmick to represent the sloth it isn’t in any way; the Truant ability that
means it skips every turn because it’s just so damn lazy. Slakoth also has
this, but with Slakoth it’s a detriment, Slaking’s gargantuan stats mean that
this really isn’t a problem when it comes to using it in single player or in
non-competitive multi-player so it can be ‘fun theming’ and not ‘fucking
annoying’. While it’s not as creative as Primeape or Tyranitar design wise it’s
still an awesome big Kong Pokémon.
I can sort of see why I had
issues with Slakoth, it has that Aaargh! Real Monsters feel to it but without
any real need for that style (unlike, say, Huntail or Camerupt, more on that later)
and it has annoyingly unnecessary tufts of fur on it’s back but it’s not
hateable. I think what did it for me with Slaktoh was seeing it in 3D models,
or in any other pose really, because I think what really bugged me about it was
that fucking arm, that big fat noodle limb struck me as so damn lazy a way to
execute something, weird yes but it does doesn’t it? It’s just the easiest way
to draw that, two big lines, not attempt at proportions, anatomy or anything
other than connecting the fingers to the body as quickly and easily as
possible. But when I see it other poses, including its default pose of laying
out like a cute slothy rug, that isn’t there to annoy me and I realise I
disliked the drawing, not the ‘mon it was a drawing of.
Vigaroth I still hate, at
least form a design point of view. The progression of this evolution line is
pretty neat – you go from the sleepy baby, to the angry teenager, to the laid
back adult, that’s cool and Vigaroth – with it’s high speed stat – presents a
nice dilemma for trainers who don’t care about design: do you evolve into
Slaking and get it’s improved offensive and defensive power but at the cost of
getting the Truant ability back or do you keep the fast Vigaroth and hit first
but potentially last less time in battle? This is nice, this feels like thought
when into the evolutionary line. I hate Vigaroth as a design though, everything
about it doesn’t work for me, literally everything. I hate it’s ugly fucking
face with it’s random brown jaw and it’s blob of tomato sauce between its eyes;
I hate it’s eyes; I hate it’s proportions and how unbalanced they feel; I hate
it’s unnecessary little nubs of ears that further effect it’s silhouette; I
hate where it’s tuffs of fur have been put and where they haven’t, flowing like
a rabbit’s course down a u-bend; I hate the fact that it looks like a chicken.
I. Just. Hate. It. All.
And I feel bad, because two
of my friends really like Vigaroth, sorry guys!
In complete contrast, I’ve
loved this line from the off. The Nincada line is one of the most creative ways
of using evolution in the franchise so far, so, bugger that, the Nincada line
is one of the most creative ways of using evolution in the franchise ever. It
uses already established mechanics to perfectly represent the line’s basis
(cicadas) and leaves us with two awesome Pokémon. You wouldn’t think that from
looking at Nincada mind and it’s individual score will be not be very high
because it really is just a drawing of a bug, it’s a nice bug, it has that
slightly unsettling but slightly cute look that many bugs do in fact have in
real life but it’s nothing particularly amazing or creative. And that’s just
perfect, you see Nincada is a line based around a nice surprise and the less
remarkable Nincada is the better the surprise angle works.
The first surprise is the
switch from ho-hum Nincada to awesome Ninjask – a ninja flying insect with a
high speed stat, the Speed Boost ability to make it even faster and a lovely
armour design recalling, what else, Kamen Rider. Ninjask alone is worth keeping
the seemingly unremarkable Nincada in your party because, in case you missed
it, it gives you the chance to battle with a high speed flying ninja Kamen
Rider.
The second surprise however
is the one. because you know what cicadas are famous for? Leaving their old
exoskeletons stick to things after they exit their pupal stage like the hollow
corpses of the thing they once were. So if you have a spare spot in your party
and evolve yourself a nincada, the Ninjask will also leave behind it’s old
exoskeleton, and that exoskeleton will become a Ghost/Bug Type, the utterly
awesome Shedinja. THIS IS SO FUCKING MORBID AND COOOOOOL! And this thing LOOKS
DEAD, it feels dead, this lifeless, unmoving, browny husk with dead eyes and an
empty void in it’s back (that’s meant to steal your soul if you look in it, but
given that it has a back sprite that shows off the hole every time you use it,
I think we can debunk that as horseshit, or Rapidash shit, or whatever) and a
set of wings made from where Ninjask tore out of it. It actually has elements
of both devils and angels, which (as Bogleech pointed out) helps hammer home
that this is something in-between – in-between life and death, in-between
Nincada and Ninjask, in-between heaven and hell.
And then there’s Shedinja’s
other gimmick - cos this is a double-gimmick Pokémon baby! – it has 1 hit
point, and never any more, it can only be hit once and then it’s dead, because
it’s nothing more than a shell, based on something that crumples if you blow on
it. BUT it has the ability Wonder Guard, which means it can only be hit by
types of moves that are super effective against it, a total of 5 out of 18:
Rock, Fire, Flying, Ghost and Dark. You notice what’s missing from that list?
The powerful Dragon, Psychic and Fairy and the common and over-used Grass,
Normal and Water. This thing can kill dragons, this little dead bug with only 1
HP. Meaning that if you do use it, winning with it is just that much more
satisfying.
What a great fucking line!
I like how this line ends,
but It doesn’t start out so great. Whismur is just Gen III Jigglypuff – which
means it’s weirder looking, has unnecessary markings and a much less
complimentary colour scheme. It’s also probably quite annoying, as it cries all
the time. It’s cute though, weird-cute but cute nonetheless. Sadly my abiding
memory of Whismur is a Nuzlock let’s play I read where their Whismur was
annoying and ‘died’ so was left as a corpse in a box in the Pokémon PC with a
sock stuffed in it’s mouth and was used as a figure of fun. Poor fucker, it
doesn’t deserve that.
Loudred is very much a
midvolution, feeling less than the Pokémon either side of it, it’s a big loud
hippo-monster with speakers for ears through so it’s hard to hate, it’s the
most Klasky Csupo of the three too, and it’s toe claws look like it’s teeth,
was that intentional?
But it’s worth to get to
Exploud, at least for me. Which continues a trend for Gen III, have you noticed
it? The first stages of the line I think are alright or a bit crappy but the
final forms get five and gold give scores? Ludicolo, Gardevoir, Slakoth,
Ninjask and now Exploud, and if I’m right this will be a trend that continues.
This isn’t exactly a good thing, it may seem like a good thing as after all
lots of Gen 3 Pokémon get high scores but it means that overall the lines are
far less consistently well designed, which is not something that could be said
for the majority of the previous two generations and shows, at least if my
opinion is anything to go by (and it may not be, let’s be honest here, I like
Vanilluxe AND Probopass), that less may have gone into the generation of
Pokémon as a whole.
Back to Exploud, the
Pokémon whose larynx has evolved so that it can only be used as a weapon.
Exploud does exactly what it’s supposed to – it looks LOUD and it looks
FEARSOME, it loses all of Loudred’s Rugrats goofiness (and weird teeth toes,
though its toes do now resemble packing peanuts – upgrade?) and instead grows
huge organ pipes out of its arse. Its head is the big I like the best, the way
it’s pipes lean back and it’s HUGE mouth give the impression of large amounts
of sound coming out even when it’s just a silent drawing. The only issue I have
with Exploud (it’s a useful bugger in battle too) is another minor Gen 3
markings nitpick, why does the yellow on it’s central head pipe go so much
further down said central head pipe? I don’t get that, at all. Anyway I’m not
as super hyper enthusiastic about it as I am Shedinja or, I dunno, Aggron or
something but it’s a marvellous monster.
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